
In the ensuing week I took a real hard look at my life, not only in the past few months, but the whole of my life in Christ that began in sixth grade. I am now a highschool freshman. I saw how I have matured over the past years. I went from my original fire and love to doing things for attention. Many people saw my cry for attention as a bad thing, but now I see it as the loving work of Christ in my life. In this period from 7-8th grade, I became very knowladgeable about our faith and why we did certain things as Catholics. This has equipped me to defend my faith. Now with this knowladge, I proceed forward in faith! I do things with love now. I pray my Rosary attentively instead of rattling off the prayers just to get it over with. This has been in large part due to St. Louis de Montfort and his two great books, "True Devotion to Mary" and "The Secret of the Rosary". Everyday at 3 o'clock, I stop and pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. Instead of letting the CD pray for me, I know contemplate on Christ's passion and the love that he put forth in it. This has also brought me deeper in knowladge than any books that I have read.
But back to that week. I began dropping programs on television, the radio, and the internet that I saw as harmful to my faith. In the afternoons when I got home from school, I would watch EWTN or just nothing at all instead of "Scrubs" or "Grey's Anatonmy". These shows are not bad shows in themselves, but I recognized at the time that my faith was not strong enough to handle these programs. I also cut down my internet time. In addition to that, I created a new Facebook account for myself, only adding friends that I knew only post positive messages, and nothing hurtful or contrary to my morals. I made it a point to ask to change the radio station to our local K-Love or EWTN radio station when I was in the car. I am a musical person and take the messages put forth in songs deep into my heart and I found that certain stations were harming my faith.
The weekend after our Youth Conference was the annual "Abbey Youth Festival" in St. Benedict, LA at St. Joseph's Benedictine Abbey. This was the weeked that the story of the Prodigal Son was read for mass. That night at Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, I began crying in my heart. Not physically through my eyes, but in my heart. I realized that that "conversion moment" that I always hoped and prayed for doesn't happen. God works silently and gradually in our lives inviting us back to his loving embrace at a pace that our faith can handle. Since that weekend, I have been attending daily mass as often as I can and recieveing communion. This has been my true strength. I have also been wearing our Mother's Holy Rosary at my side. All fifteen decades of it! This was inspired by St. Louis de Montfort's story of a pious king who wanted everyone in his kingdom to pray the Holy Rosary. In order to this, the king wore a large and beautiful Rosary on his belt. This encouraged many of his subjects to pray the Holy Rosary devoutly and with humility, but sadly, the king never actually prayed it himself. One day, the king found himself deathly ill. His wife called upon the Royal Court to pray the Holy Rosary for him. In a dream, he saw himself before the judgement seat of God. There were demons all around him accusing him of all the sins he had ever committed. Just as the just Lord was about the sentance him to enternity in the fires of hell, the Blessed Mother appeared. She called for a set of scales, and upon recieveing them, she placed the kings sins on one side, and his large Rosary, those that were prayed because of his influence, and all the souls he had saved. Upon this, the side with the Rosaries greatly outweighed the side of his sins. The Blessed Mother looked at the king and told him when he got back to Earth to preach her Rosary and pray in devoutly everyday. When he woke from his coma, he preached the Rosary and spread devotion far beyond his own kingdom. He also prayed all fifteen mysteries everyday for the rest of his life.
This story made me say, "Wow! If I can save souls by just wearing a Rosary, imagine what I could do wearing it and praying it!" This began my journey with our Blessed Mother.
I am now returning to my blogging hobby becase I find great support from members of the Catholic Blogging Community and prayful support from them as well. Please continue your prayers for this sinful and lowly servant of the Lord, and I will continue mine for you.
Pax Christi!
Jude Graham
2 comments:
This is so good. I'll pray for you!
We missed you !
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